can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
