no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
