Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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