i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
