I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize