ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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