Soap is not a condiment
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
