I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
