Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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