You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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