so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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