An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
