2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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