I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
whose ass print is on the piano?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
