I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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