coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
