I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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