Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
