bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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