Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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