I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
