I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
