I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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