so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
