Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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