i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
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I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
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What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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