I feel like abortions should bother me more
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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