some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
