The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
