belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
