just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
