My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize