Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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