honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize