when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
