Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
