it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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