Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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