i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
