giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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