This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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