Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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