Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize
