i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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