dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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