Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
This gyro tastes like lonliness
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I'm bleeding and have questions
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