Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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