i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize