God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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