Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
