isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
