This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
