Already got asked if we're dating
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
