he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Randomize
