oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Hippo gnu deer
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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