Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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