You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
