Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
