did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
