First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
