So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
