we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
